Hanoi is Calling Me!

"This is the voice of Vietnam broadcasting from Hanoi, the Capitol of the Democratic republic of Vietnam." ~ Hanoi Hannah








We were having lunch three days ago, 4-5 of my co-workers and I. Brandon mentioned that his fiancé had been to Hanoi. All of a sudden, I was instantly compelled to go there... The thought seems so impulsive, so frivolous. I have always been drawn to Vietnam for the Pho value. Actually the thought of going to Vietnam had crossed my mind before, but this time it seems substantive. More than just tasting a mouth watering bowl of Pho, Vietnam is the land where my maternal grandparents (Joseph Chan Nguyen and Maria Ngyheim Nguyen Thi) were born. I still have two uncles who live there. One in the North. One in the South. There's history to that too.






I know very little of Vietnam. Yes I have heard about the war. I like Pho and Ban Mi. I can speak a few Vietnamese words with a Northern Vietnamese accent, or so I was told by a Vietnamese friend I met in California who came from Ho Chi Minh City in the South.






I don't generally care much more about Vietnam than that, to be gut-wrenchingly honest. My mother was born in Thailand. She associates herself with being Thai. So am I.






So far, Vietnam to me is all about the food and other information. I don't feel it in my blood. But to be there in person, I will dive into my own heritage that I know very little of. My hope is that I can learn a lot about my ancestors' past, to connect the dots between their world and my world and the world of my two living boys- Jason and Ethan. (I do want to mention that I also had a daughter. Her name is Natalia Joy. I will write more about her at some point when I am ready. She is now waiting for me in Heaven while I still navigate my way here on Earth.)






We are still in the planning process, but figure I should keep a record of this. Something is calling me to go there. Big time! Let's see where that voice is leading me :)


P.S. I'm writing again. This is a good sign of self-care, self-love, true healing!